Sitting Pretty

By Simone Ellin

As most parents will agree, a good baby sitter is worth his or her weight in gold. Sometimes, though, finding a sitter that brings peace of mind can seem like an impossible dream!

Anita Kassof of Mount Washington recalls the time when she and her husband, Josh Neiman, discovered that their teenaged baby sitter had invited her boyfriend over without their knowledge. “The next day,” says Kassof, “Sophie and Daniel (the Kassof-Neiman children) told me that our sitter spent all night in the kitchen ‘making out’ with her boyfriend.” Adding insult to injury, the boyfriend, says Kassof, ate all the pizza meant for her kids!

Some years ago, Jill Petschek and her husband, Joe Boccuzzi, of Hunt Valley were taken aback when they came home to find their middle-aged baby sitter and her husband locked out of the house. “The baby sitter smoked,” says Petschek. “Obviously, we weren’t thrilled with that, but she and my son Benjamin loved one another, and she was a good sitter in many ways.” So Petschek and Boccuzzi hired the sitter, with the understanding that she would only smoke outside the house.

One night, explains Petschek, the baby sitter went out on the deck to smoke, leaving then 3-year-old Benjamin in the house by himself. “Benjamin,” remembers Petschek, “decided it would be fun to lock the door leading out to the deck! When we got home, the sitter and her husband were outside, and Benjamin was asleep on the kitchen floor.” Needless to say, Petschek and Boccuzzi knew it was time to find a new baby sitter. But where to begin?

Joan Grayson Cohen, associate director of the resource services division at Jewish Family Services, recommends that parents look for a baby sitter who is responsible and able to make sound judgments quickly. Age, Cohen adds, is not necessarily the best indicator of a responsible sitter. “Ask around before hiring someone,” suggests Cohen. “Make sure he or she likes children and connects well with yours. If it’s a good match, kids will be more likely to listen, their behavior will be better and the situation will be safer.”

Cohen also urges parents to check in with their children after their first experience with a new sitter. “Even young children can usually tell if a sitter is kind, responsible and attentive,” says Cohen.

“If you set ground rules with your sitter and he doesn’t follow them, that should be a red flag. If your child’s report gives you the impression that the baby sitter spent all night on the cell phone, watched his own TV shows and generally ignored the child, then the sitter is probably not one you’ll want to use again,” she adds.

One way to ensure that a baby sitter has the training and qualities he or she needs is to hire someone who has been through a Red Cross baby-sitting course such as the one offered at the Owings Mills Jewish Community Center. Taught by Sue Szembroth and Julie Greenberg, both staff members at the JCC, the six-hour course teaches youngsters ages 11-14. Topics include dealing with emergency situations, answering the phone, simple first aid and rescue breathing.

This January, Melanie Waxman, Maccabi Teen Experience Director, says the JCC will add baby sitting 102 in collaboration with JFS. “They will learn appropriate games, how to work with siblings, how to prepare easy meals and how to assert themselves with parents,” says Waxman.

What Should a Baby-Sitter Ask?

• Where are the emergency numbers?

• What time will you be home?

• What time should the kids be in bed?

• Are there any allergies?

Source: Melanie Woxman, Maccabi Teen Experience director

Common Baby-Sitting Questions

How much to pay?
An informal poll of local parents suggests that hourly fees range from $6-$7 for younger sitters, up to $10-$12 for older sitters who transport themselves. The number of children being cared for also factors into the salary equation.

Boy versus girl sitter?
Parents may want to consider hiring a boy sitter, if they have only boys; a girl might be more compatible if all your children are female.

Source: Joan Grayson Cohen, JFS

November 9, 2007