PARENTING

Comments (1)  |

Print  |

|

Breastfeeding Pros And Cons

Written By Simone Ellin Photographed By Justin Tsucalas

My first child cried a lot. No, she shrieked — a lot — like all the time, for many, many months.

Today, Xandra is 15. She is still dramatic (she’s an actress), but also sweet and surprisingly soft-spoken. But her father and I will never forget those early days and nights. 

When Xandra was born, we lived in Park Slope, Brooklyn. On maternity leave, I quickly fell in with the neighborhood mothers, women like me. Most were first-time moms in their 30s, who were taking time off from busy professional lives to stay home with their newborns.

All of us had read every baby book and were well aware of the latest trends in parenting. Many of these new mothers were practicing attachment parenting, wearing their babies in slings, making their own organic baby food, adopting the “family bed,” never letting their babies cry, and of course — breastfeeding on demand. 

In addition to exposing our newborns to a range of experiences, my new mom friends and I attended the breast-feeding support group together. There, I listened to my contemporaries as they kvelled about their new babies and the bliss of breastfeeding them.  Some had questions, but it seemed that I was the only one with complaints.

Yes, there were moments of joy, but I was tired, stressed and in pain from nursing a baby about 10 times a day who wasn’t latching on properly. Also, there was the guilt — guilt for wanting to stop breastfeeding. I stuck with it only because of my husband’s insistence and miraculously, after consulting with a lactation specialist and replacing some of her feedings with formula, Xandra and I learned to nurse.

Yes, it was lovely. I’m glad I did it. But are my children healthier because they were breastfed? Did it make our bonding process more natural? I have no idea.

A lactation consultant with Dr. Steven Caplan’s Baltimore pediatric practice, Wendy Miller has helped women to breastfeed their newborns for the past 15 years. She believes that breastfeeding is beneficial on several fronts.

“First of all,” she says, “the financial benefits of breastfeeding are enormous, since formula is ridiculously expensive ($60 to $100 per month).”

Mother-baby bonding is another advantage, she adds, although she believes that such bonding can also take place when infants are bottle-fed. “Bottle-feeding offers the same eye contact and physical closeness,” she explains.

One thing that formula can’t offer is the extra protection that breast milk provides against allergies and infection, she notes.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) confirms that breastfeeding helps to protect infants from respiratory tract infections, gastrointestinal disorders, ear infections, urinary tract infections, type 1 and type 2 diabetes, lymphoma, leukemia, Hodgkins disease, and childhood overweight and obesity. The AAP also lists the following benefits for mothers who breastfeed: decreased postpartum bleeding and more rapid uterine involution, among others.

Despite breastfeeding’s documented advantages, Miller feels that the choice to breast- or bottle-feed should be left to the woman. “I would never want breastfeeding to interfere with a woman’s enjoyment of her new baby,” says Miller.

When Jill Smokler, a Mount Washington resident and mother of three who has become a national celebrity for her blog, “Scary Mommy,” found herself unable to breastfeed her first-born daughter, she spent the first days of the baby’s life crying in bed.

“I tried everything, but nothing worked. I was one of that tiny percentile of mothers who are simply not built to do that.”

To compensate, says Smokler, she had her baby sleep on her chest all the time, so she could encourage bonding. “I was afraid if I didn’t do that, she wouldn’t get to know me.”

(Miller confirms that about 10 percent of women are not able to breastfeed because they aren’t able to produce enough milk. “Usually, these are mothers who don’t experience any breast changes during pregnancies. Mothers who have had breast reduction or other surgeries may also be unable to do so.” The vast majorities of women are physically capable of breastfeeding, Miller says, but may not know it. )

“By the third go-round,” recalls Smokler, “I knew the drill and I was okay with feeding them formula. But in the beginning, I felt like the worst mother in the world.”

Smokler, whose book of essays, “Confessions of a Scary Mother” (Simon & Schuster), will be released on April 3, says that breastfeeding is a topic sometimes discussed on the Scary Mommy blog. “I attempt to make the blog a ‘judgment-free zone,’ and we get a lot of mothers confessing that they don’t want to breastfeed, but are pressured by family and friends, and they are racked with guilt. It’s one of the most intimate things you can do, but everyone seems to have something to say about it.”

Even those who plan on breastfeeding find that there can be difficulties. On the one hand, women are told that “good mothers” breastfeed, while on the other hand, breastfeeding in public is frowned upon. Especially in the early months of a baby’s life, most need to eat at two-hour intervals. Mothers who want to leave their homes are severely limited if they cannot nurse in public or find an appropriate setting to feed their babies outside their home.

Add to that the short maternity leaves offered at American companies and the fact that few workplaces offer women private areas for pumping, and the odds are stacked against women wishing to nurse their babies for the 12 months suggested by the AAP.

Meanwhile, Laura Wolf, a 36-year-old mother of three who lives in the Pikesville/ Mount Washington area, planned to nurse all three of her babies. Wolf says her first child, Jacob, now 8 1/2, was a “fabulous nurser and a fabulous eater. He was a big boy and when it was time for him to eat, the whole neighborhood knew about it.”

She nursed Jacob for about a year.

Breastfeeding Lily, now 5, was somewhat different. “She has never been a big eater or drinker,” says Wolf.

On top of that, Wolf’s grandmother passed away one week after Lily’s birth. In the midst of mourning, Wolf’s milk supply decreased and she had to supplement Lily’s diet with formula. Soon after, though, Wolf began producing sufficient milk and she continued to breastfeed her daughter for almost a year. 

When Joshua was born this past December, Wolf fully expected she would nurse him just as she had her older children. But Joshua was born with a tight frenulum, limiting his ability to move his tongue. As a result, says Wolf, he had difficulty learning to nurse correctly.

Wolf and her husband Richard took Joshua to an ear, nose and throat doctor who conducted a simple procedure that often resolves problems with breast-feeding. But, it didn’t correct his sucking technique. The situation was made more problematic, says Wolf, because Joshua is “a calm, chill baby and doesn’t work for his food.”

Wolf says she struggled with the decision to give up on breastfeeding Joshua. “I had nursed my other two and breastfeeding Joshua was my preference, but he’s my third child and I don’t have unlimited time to teach him to nurse. Some people say, ‘If you really work at it, he’ll get it.’ But I’ve come to realize that I have to do what’s best for me and my family.”

Although Wolf has decided not to breastfeed, she pumps around the clock so that he can receive breast milk exclusively. She plans to do this as long as it’s tolerable for her. 

Wolf finds that about half of the women she knows choose to breastfeed. Some are adamant about nursing for their baby’s first year. Others try it, but give up after a couple of months.

Miller finds that despite efforts to educate women about the benefits of breastfeeding, many of the new mothers in Dr. Caplan’s practice choose not to do it. While she says babies gain the most from a full year of breastfeeding, Miller believes that even a couple of months of breast milk will provide infants with antibodies that will give them a good start. 

Although she hasn’t felt judged because of her decision not to breastfeed Joshua, Wolf is aware that pressures exist.

“Recently, I was speaking with a friend who had the same experience as I did. She breastfed her first two children, but was unable to breastfeed the third. My friend admitted that she used to be judgmental about mothers who chose not to breastfeed. When she discovered she couldn’t breastfeed her own baby, she realized how wrong she was.” 

While she doesn’t believe in pressuring new mothers, Miller hopes that women will give breastfeeding a try before deciding against it.

“It’s great to prepare beforehand by reading about breastfeeding, asking questions and talking to others. Most hospitals have lactation departments and free breastfeeding support groups that mothers can attend after they leave the hospital. There is support out there, and it doesn’t have to cost money.”